Dear 自分自身,

How are you? I hope you are really doing fine these days. It has been quite a while since I tried to reach you and talked to you. Yes, I have been wandering inside this confusing labyrinth, try to find a way out and then help you out. There was a time when I felt so tired and just want to give up. But, I remember that I still have to fight for you. I still have to stand up and protect you… I bemoan my characteristics, I bet you hate me… Aren’t you?

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I know that you are always hiding behind me, and always ask me to put a smile that you can follow.

I know you have tried to make everything perfect yet you ends up making mistakes again…

I know that sometimes you’re losing sight of what is important in life by being so focused on success.

I know that you are tired, but I always ask you to keep up…

I know that when you are weak and scared but I always force you to stay strong.

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Even when I know you are about to cry, I am still not letting you to weep…

Maybe, I am too harsh and demanding. Maybe, I am too strict and afraid of losing you.

Many times, I told myself that everything will be fine if I let you do what you wish to. Nevertheless, I have to come back and make you do as what everyone regard as the best. I am afraid that one day, you will never trust me anymore. I afraid that one day you will conceive everything I have done is wrong. I afraid you will never understand why I asked you to stop when you want to run…

.Bit by bit, I lost my confidence to support you. Bit by bit, I don’t know what is right and wrong… Bit by bit, I don’t know what is the best way I can do for your happiness…

You are there… sitting at the corner, holding tight your knees and smile bitterly.

I am here… standing with my remaining strength, put the unbreakable vizard and longing for your brightest grin

I missed how we used to be, you and I always agree on the same things, did whatever we wish to.

We cried the same way and then embraced the happiness together as ONE…

Hey, I hope that you can understand me. I hope we can be together again.

 

~私~

Picture Source: flickr 
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