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Woke up, reluctant to start the day after I realized I shouldn’t have expect much.
Forced myself to walk off the bed and started to type on my lappie.. editing.. editing… hmm..
Yup, finished! I called them, no answer…
I called the company, it was directed to the voice mail… *anxious* sigh…
“Hello, yes speaking.. ”
Tried to digest the other end message through the receiver…
“Okay, I will call you back. Thanks! ”
Hahhahaa,.. finally finally I get it! I can go back now :DDDDD yeahh just need to settle everything.
Thank God! Thanks guys for all your wishes! It comes true! omg omg! I can’t believe it! hahaa.. okay maybe I seems to exaggerate the situation. But, really I am so grateful for all your wishes and supports!
Today, it rains the whole day.
I was with all my SU friends playing paintball in the morning, watching movies and going back to hall.
Yup, I have just had retreat with them since yesterday and today I came back to my hall.
What day is today? haha, it’s my birthday obviously I know. but, I guess I should adjust my mind so that I can still feel grateful about today despite spending it like one lost child all day.
Worst thing that made this b’day just sucks is the fact that I am still waiting for my internship result. All my friends are not here for me. I am just left like don’t know what to do. Unlike last last year when I was probably in the choir camp, singing and I won’t feel that lonely at least.
Well, I must always remind myself to be grateful that I had a cake from my SU friends yesterday night. Although we didn’t really celebrate it, but that’s really enough. I receive all the wishes from my mom, my sis, my family, my close friends, and my friends. I know they wish the best for me, and I am really grateful. But somehow, I just not that easily feel happy and content about this birthday. Perhaps in one hand is because of my situation, and the timing.
I came back to my room, found my roommate was sleeping and then she went for a meeting. My mom called and I just could not bear my tears rolling out. I am sucks. I know. She talked to me for one hour, she understand what I felt exactly. I was just starting to cry because of her kindness and love, she asked me to go out and celebrate or at least enjoy myself. But, I just can’t do it. I don’t know why. The situation? like everyone is not here? or is it just me? Whatever…
It’s okay, I am really grateful to have her with me. I am grateful to have all the wishes although I know probably some are just kind of “formality” wishes to an acquaintances. But, that doesn’t really matter at all. I would like to say thanks a lot to everyone who have called me or smsed me or fb-ed me to drop by and say “happy birthday”.
This year birthday, I spent it so casually. Yet, I am really really grateful that my family wishes me for all the best, my close friends still remember today, and my friends send their greetings to me as well. I shouldn’t ask for more than this. Probably, somewhere out there, someone who share the same birthday as me wouldn’t receive so much love and care. I should share it with them instead of bemoan myself.
Happy Birthday yea! 🙂 All my best wishes for those who share the same birthday with me! I hope you can enjoy it truly and have great day!
Thanks God for giving me such abundant love and care to me. Thank you for all the supports along the way. I hope I will be tougher inside out, I will be more positive, I will not disappointed anyone, I will be happy throughout my life so that I can share it with everyone I love.
If you take one time break and sort down your wish list, I bet it will be a long one. I have never tried it before, but I know I will have such a long list of wishes. However, most of them may just come-and-go wish. You may wish to have it today but not tomorrow, or you may wish it now but you forget about it the next minute.But, I am sure there must be some precious wishes of yours that always in your heart and soul not your brain. Because brain will choose to find balance with reality but deep inside our hearts, I don’t know.
I myself have never want to list down my wish items as I think they will be just deleted one by one. The reason is simple that it will be too naive and greedy to have all my wishes to come true. Why should there be so many wishes then? In the first place, they should not be there if they are only going to be deleted anyway…
Well, I see wishes are there to be with us, to accompany us in this lonesome life sometimes. Wish is to be there for us to move forward and make another wish, again and again just like a chain. Care nothing but the feeling that drives you to go out and fulfill your wishes, we walk and try to find a way to reach this wish. Whatever we wish may not be real or going to be real. But this feeling of wishing which makes us feel good and keep on wishing, sometimes, in certain limit we may feel it’s useless to have wishes. That’s when the harsh facts of everyday we encounter, the incidents, the people, the moments which is going to influence us to shape and or may distort our wishes. At that moment, I assess the wish list, will delete some to be in line with the external environment. Some wishes are scraped and left me with these shorter list.
I am happy with this short list wishes of mine yet I don’t know how long they are going to last. Part of me says if this wishes to become real, I may need to put dense preservation not only from my side but other party affected or contributed as well. Without them, the wish is nothing anyway. This wish list I bet everyone will have it.
Many times when I wish of something is going to happen after every little bits I have put in, it just turned out to be something else. Something that will hold me back to wish again. So, is it really so important that wish MUST comes true? When sometimes it really comes true, that’s perfect! But, when it’s not… It’ll just makes wistful and frightened state of mentality. So what’s the point of wishing wishes to become true? Maybe it’s best to leave it as “wish” – without any level of expectation to become real – for you to keep inside and only you know. It may never gonna happen, but it’s a good way in the sense that you won’t feel lost and bleak inside. You know that the wish is real indeed, it is there, just that whether it makes you feel blessed or not.
MIehh, I have no idea how to explain it when not much things to say anymore.